I suffer from really bad anxiety, and have had a few panic attacks. I can’t go into my city centre on my own, don’t really like to go anywhere on my own. I struggle with busy places, I end up feeling on edge, and like I stand out (although I don’t).

I’m a manager in a bookies, so have to deal with abusive and angry men sometimes. Although I stand my ground, any sort of confrontation leaves my whole body trembling.

I hate it. I hate being scared of everything.

I used to be really bad, I wouldn’t get on the bus at certain times. I used to go out of my way to get another bus home, because I didn’t want to get on my usual bus. Sometimes, I wouldn’t even use the usual bus stop.

I don’t understand it. I feel silly, but I can’t help it.

I have to feel safe, but I don’t.

Anybody know what I mean?
I have confidence in my job, because I know what I’m doing, and it’s generally the same everyday. I have a routine there.
I don’t smoke, I eat okay, and I have already stopped drinking coffee.

This has been going on for years.

My mum died last year, so I struggle with a little depression. But the anxiety etc went on long before that.